Their Bodies, Their Selves

There's a striking moment about 20 minutes into Jennifer Brea's affecting film about her own and countless others' struggle with myalgic encephalomyelitis (ME, more commonly known as chronic fatigue syndrome). She is bedridden and filming herself as she reflects on what it means to inhabit this new, limiting body, and the limited life it affords … Continue reading Their Bodies, Their Selves

Obliterated Places

    I’m a middle class black person who is married to a white person and who happens to live in a hopelessly unintegrated city (Cape Town).  It should therefore not surprise you to learn, reader, that I am often The Only Black Person in the Room.  It doesn’t often surprise me much, having lived … Continue reading Obliterated Places

Myth Busting the Baby Dreaming

  Somewhere along the way, it dawned on me that there will be absolutely no zen-ning this out.  All of the wisdom, all of the stuff I’m reading, all the message boards I’m on, all the conversations with our doctors – I mean every thing – tells us to just relax.  Rome wasn’t built in … Continue reading Myth Busting the Baby Dreaming

Pre-baby Body

 “A woman watches her body uneasily, as though it were an unreliable ally in the battle for love” Leonard Cohen   I’ve been trying to figure out when to write about this. After all the treatments and poking and prodding is done, and the losses have been endured, and we have what we want – … Continue reading Pre-baby Body

Our writing, our selves: Meditations on the ethics of writing

“I write entirely to find out what I'm thinking, what I'm looking at, what I see and what it means. What I want and what I fear.” Joan Didion “Writers are always selling someone out.” Joan Didion David Sedaris published the most beautiful essay on the death of his youngest sister, Tiffany, and how her … Continue reading Our writing, our selves: Meditations on the ethics of writing

The New Normal, or what a family looks like

  This is my 'normal' You get used to the staring. When my husband and I first started dating, the staring bothered me. Wherever we went, people would gape at us, openly unashamedly, wearing all of their (offensive) questions on their faces. At first, I would fly into impotent rages and rant on and on … Continue reading The New Normal, or what a family looks like

The Grief Book Club

  By some strange coincidence, in the 6 months preceding my aunt's death I had worked my way through three seminal 'grief narratives'. I have half-joked to friends that I was sort of 'studying up', without knowing it, in preparation for what was to come. There really is no preparing for it, though. The best … Continue reading The Grief Book Club