Lessons in allyship

Last year, when the country's university campuses were in the thick of the 2017 wave of #FeesMustFall protests, I attended a reflection workshop hosted by the programme for which I was teaching at the time. Reader, it was not my finest hour. I was ostensibly meant to be co-facilitating the session, but ended up participating, vociferously, … Continue reading Lessons in allyship

All I Want for Mother’s Day

About a year ago, a video on womanhood was doing the rounds on social media. It features a series of older women talking about what they feel younger women should and could do differently in today's fast-paced world.  The video was produced by a spa called Sanctuary, as part of their campaign to convince women … Continue reading All I Want for Mother’s Day

The politics of hair and language

On Sunday morning I had a delightful breakfast with some friends I had not seen in a long time, over breakfast we discussed the Hawks, the Burkini ban in France and Sipho Pitayana’s speech, which for all of us was fascinating. We all postulated different theories on what would follow, and the possible impact on … Continue reading The politics of hair and language

No hood like this mamahood

The first year of motherhood. May I be so presumptuous as to write about it from within, before I have fully emerged, one-year-old and smashed (sugar and gluten free) birthday cake in each hand? I. The pulsating loneliness of it. I don't quite know how to explain it. You won't be alone, ever. If you're … Continue reading No hood like this mamahood

Birth Pains

“For the first time in my life, I understand the concept of home: it is not a refuge, not necessarily a snuggly place of warmth and cheery domesticity, not some essential rightness like the satisfying click that releases a lock, but rather a sense of peace with contradiction. It is a giving in, an acceptance, … Continue reading Birth Pains

On What I did not Expect

I don’t know quite what I expected.   For the longest time (and I know how lucky we are that for us, that only meant months, not years), we’d been planning for this pregnancy, working as hard as we could emotionally to conceive our miracle, fighting the despair that threatened to overwhelm anything positive about … Continue reading On What I did not Expect

Writing against the silence

  I have a very happy, complicated relationship with writing.  It is at once very personal, in the ways that only the places you can call home are, and very public, in the way that professional ambition can be.  Writing has always been a place for me to take the pieces of my life, sorrowful … Continue reading Writing against the silence

The ‘I’ Word

There’s a word I’ve been religiously avoiding using in all my conversations, and writing about this experience, and the word is this: infertility.   I avoid it partly because our doctor is yet to use it to refer to either of us (medically, officially, you are only allowed to assign it after a couple have … Continue reading The ‘I’ Word

On mourning Maya Angelou, Ursula Le Guin and Failure

Last week was incredibly hard.  Dr Maya Angelou died.  I suppose I knew it was coming.  And to be honest, it wasn’t a death I thought of with great dread, as I did whenever I contemplated President Nelson Mandela dying.  Maya Angelou’s work and her story meant a great deal to me, but I didn’t expect … Continue reading On mourning Maya Angelou, Ursula Le Guin and Failure