The Risky Business of Sexual Violence

When I was in my first year of university, I went, as instructed, to one of my lecturers' offices to pick up my graded final essay. It was study week and the campus was quiet. I needed the paper to study for the upcoming exam, and had gone to campus specifically to fetch it. The … Continue reading The Risky Business of Sexual Violence

Of Myths and Men: masculinity and the politics of the personal

A few months ago, I found myself between a philosophical rock and hard place. The cause of my malaise? A stupid Father's Day-themed diaper ad. The premise of the advert is pretty silly (and you're welcome to view the offending ad in all its glory above), but the message it carries is that dads are … Continue reading Of Myths and Men: masculinity and the politics of the personal

How to Outrun the Darkness*

*For Chester. May your lights never dim. Your first step - really, your most important step, the step you will return to again and again - is to name the darkness. You see, it operates best in secret, this darkness. It keeps you shrouded and cloaked in its shadows, making sure you feel completely isolated … Continue reading How to Outrun the Darkness*

My Therapist is Black*

*With thanks and apologies to Young Jeezy I had my first panic attack when I was 20. Up till that point, I'd never considered therapy, and had shrugged off the persistent lethargy and darkness that episodically enveloped me. I was an undergraduate psychology major, so I was especially cautious about throwing around labels like 'anxiety' … Continue reading My Therapist is Black*

Lessons in allyship

Last year, when the country's university campuses were in the thick of the 2017 wave of #FeesMustFall protests, I attended a reflection workshop hosted by the programme for which I was teaching at the time. Reader, it was not my finest hour. I was ostensibly meant to be co-facilitating the session, but ended up participating, vociferously, … Continue reading Lessons in allyship

All I Want for Mother’s Day

About a year ago, a video on womanhood was doing the rounds on social media. It features a series of older women talking about what they feel younger women should and could do differently in today's fast-paced world.  The video was produced by a spa called Sanctuary, as part of their campaign to convince women … Continue reading All I Want for Mother’s Day

The politics of hair and language

On Sunday morning I had a delightful breakfast with some friends I had not seen in a long time, over breakfast we discussed the Hawks, the Burkini ban in France and Sipho Pitayana’s speech, which for all of us was fascinating. We all postulated different theories on what would follow, and the possible impact on … Continue reading The politics of hair and language

No hood like this mamahood

The first year of motherhood. May I be so presumptuous as to write about it from within, before I have fully emerged, one-year-old and smashed (sugar and gluten free) birthday cake in each hand? I. The pulsating loneliness of it. I don't quite know how to explain it. You won't be alone, ever. If you're … Continue reading No hood like this mamahood

Birth Pains

“For the first time in my life, I understand the concept of home: it is not a refuge, not necessarily a snuggly place of warmth and cheery domesticity, not some essential rightness like the satisfying click that releases a lock, but rather a sense of peace with contradiction. It is a giving in, an acceptance, … Continue reading Birth Pains